A little bit of gas

Since a couple of people have stumbled across my blog because, it seems, their baby has gas wakings, I thought I’d dedicate a short post to my experience with gas and my son.

Since we only met when he was 7 months, I’m not sure how he was up until then.  However, upon meeting him, he was pretty good about getting his gas out on his own.  However, the changes in time zone and formula made for a few rough weeks.  I think, for a while, his body had a rhythm with regards to gas.  It knew when to produce it when it was easy to expel.  That all changed when it had to learn to process his new formula and he started sleeping when he used to normally be awake.

The first thing was that we used the bottles he was used to using while in Korea and for the flight back.  Our goal was to try to match the nipples he was used to with a bottle that we could get here in the States.  Unfortunately, this meant we were using the bottles from Korea for a few days and they weren’t particularly good for gas.

They were simple bottles, nothing fancy.  So, as he drank the formula, he created a vacuum that caused him to swallow air.  This, in turn, caused gas pains.  We learned to take burp breaks, but mainly it was to burp the bottle, not the baby.  When we got home, we switched to Dr. Brown’s bottles.  These allow air back into the bottle which allows the formula to just flow without any positive or negative pressure.  However, be careful about heating the bottle with the top on as this *can* cause positive pressure and make it difficult for your baby to drink.

We also learned not to shake the formula to mix it.  Shaking causes lots of little bubbles to form and they add up in your little baby’s tummy.  So, stir whenever possible.  With Dr. Brown’s bottles and stirring, we solved the issues of gas from swallowing air, but we still had issues with gas formed from digestion.

There are two solutions that we’ve found: Gripe Water and Simethicone.  There are lots of different types of Gripe Water.  Don’t assume they’re all the same.  Most of them are, however, just a mixture of Baking Soda and other organics.  From what I remember from Chemistry class, I gather the Baking Soda helps reduce the acidity of the stomach.  The other organics helps soothe the tummy and further help with easing digestion.  I read in only one place that the effects of Baking Soda aren’t eactly known, but the dosage is small and we, personally, try to minimize how much we use it.  Specifically, we used it mainly at night since sleeping is really important for everyone (hence, this blog’s existence).

The other thing is Simethicone.  This also comes in a variety, but it’s usually only in name.  From what I understand, Simethicone is a foaming agent that helps little bubbles become big bubbles and, thus, easier to expel.  Apparently, it’s quite safe if used correctly.  We’ve had great success with using these two solutions.

Our idea was to reduce the amount of bubbles in his stomach and then make whatever’s left over easy for him to burp out before making it to his intestinal tract.  This is where most of the gut pains that cause babies to cry occur.

For our son, we’ve used several different techniques.  Most of them came from the principle of moving the legs to help move the gut.  Unfortunately, I “developed” many of the already known techniques before actually discovering them on this website.  <sigh> At least I knew I was moving in the right direction since other parents have had success witht he same techniques I had figured out.

Since he would often arch his back an extend his legs and cry in pain, many techniques were difficult to do.  Calming him down was essential to working the gas out.  Perhaps the most helpful was just holding him, facing us, with his legs up in his gut as much as possible.  Essentially, you hold his calves, his knees bend over your arm, and you hold his chest to yours.  This moves his legs up into his gut and makes it harder for him to arch and push away.  I’m not sure if it did much to solve his pain, but it seemed to alleviate it for long enough to calm him down to try some of the other techniques like pumping his legs.

Usually, pumping his legs or changing the carry only lasted a few minutes before he would start crying again.  But, those few minutes would help move the gas bubble along and, eventually, move it to where it didn’t hurt anymore.  Still, we’d always go back to the hold described above after he would start to get very fussy.  What we found was that if he cried, he would be too tense to actually expel the gas whether it be a burp or a fart.  It seemed that a more relaxed baby had an easier time of it.  So, soothing him was just as important as working the gas out and fixing his pain.

Getting to know you

Well, I’ve read a lot of techniques, but ultimately, everyone ends up saying, “Every child is different.”  It’s the only thing they all get right.  Every child *is* different, so it’s about getting to know your child.

Someone mentioned learning about their adopted child’s previous sleep surroundings and mimicing them for comfort.  I wish we were able to do this ourselves.  Unfortunately, our son slept on the floor with his parents.  This just isn’t very feasible for us.  Even sleeping in our bed is difficult.  One thing we’ve learned is that our son likes to move a lot in his sleep.  He rolls all over the place.  I actually think this is one of the reasons he wakes up so much since he’s now contained.

So, I’ll start by telling you a little about my son’s preferences with regards to sleep.  He is a big fan of being held, moving, bouncing, and patting.  Now, these aren’t necessarily “healthy” ways to fall asleep, but they work.  So, for a tired parent, I recommend doing whatever keeps you from going crazy.  That’s what I do.  But, when I’ve got the stamina and the patience, I like to try to minimize how much of this I do.

I started by trying to wear him (as discussed in previous post) without the bouncing.  This seemed to go pretty well.  I’ve found that the bouncing is really only needed for burping and, lately, he’s been doing better about doing that on his own anyway.  Then, I minimized the patting.

Now, as I mentioned, I still do whatever is needed when he’s very fussy or crying.  But, I’m figuring that by reducing the amount of external needs, he’ll move closer to being able to self-soothe without having to cry-it-out.  I’ve even treid to stop moving as he gets closer to falling asleep to try to encourage him to be ok with being still.  That means, he ultimately falls asleep in the carrier or our arms without any other “stimulation.”

And that’s the ultimate goal… to help him learn how to fall asleep all by himself.  I’m not sure if we’re getting more sleep these days, but we’re feeling better.  It could just be that we’re getting used to the lack of sleep.  I like to think that even if he’s not waking up any less, his wake-up sessions are getting smaller and easier.  Of course, every day, he gets a little older and, regardless of what I do, there’s a chance he’s just getting more used to our routines, his surroundings and generally improving on his own.

Thanks for your support

I just wanted to take a minute to thank everyone who has offered advice and support.  I really appreciate it.

In fact, one of the things I wanted to post about was the need for parents to make sure to occasionally search the web for stories with whatever they’re struggling with.  Everytime I’ve looked up sleep problems, I’ve ended up reading about someone else’s experience.  Inevitably, it was WAY worse than mine.  While I felt for them, it really gave perspective to the fact that he woke up every hour last night from 7pm until 2am… at least he was sleeping for an hour every hour!

It’s horrible to think that other people’s trials can make you feel better, but they remind you that you’re not alone and it could be worse.  You appreciate your circumstance a little more and hug your child a little tighter and hold him a little longer the next time he wakes up.

I’ve got some more interesting stuff that’s happened over the past couple of nights.  I’m hoping to get a chance to write it up soon.

How to carry your kid

First, I just need to tell you a little story about our trip to Korea.

We really didn’t know what to expect.  We had ideas, but the details all seemed caught up in a mess of emotions and jet lag.  But, when we went to the agency to pick-up our son, it was important to have a way to get him back to our hotel.  Sure, our arms would have sufficed, but our son weighed over 20 lbs.  Up until now, we hadn’t carried anything like a squirmy, bouncy 20 lbs. baby.  So, we used our carrier, the Ergo.

This little device has been a godsend from the first moment.  When he fell asleep on the short walk from the agency to the hotel, we knew we had something special.  The first night, our son had really bad gas.  He needed to be carried and bounced.  There was no way our scrawny arms would have been able to hold him and bounce him like he needed.  Thanks to the Ergo, we could bounce him AND pat him and work that nasty gas bubble right out.  Soon after, he fell asleep again in the Ergo.

So, after a 14 hour plane ride and a lot of walking through airports, we officially loved our Ergo and so did our son.  Even today, we use it to help us put him to sleep.  It’s a great way to soothe him while not wearing ourselves down.  Our arms remain free to do other things, like straightening up or patting our son’s back.

So, the point of all this is, I really recommend having a carrier for your baby.  Sling, Ergo, or any of the many other solutions that are out there… whatever can help you save energy while keeping your baby close and secure and rocking him to sleep.  It’s great for helping foster attachment even when not putting the kid to sleep.  It’s great for just carrying the kid around and is even more hands-free than a stroller.

Especially in the early morning hours, when you’re tired, it’s bad enough that you’re on your feet.  No one wants to have to carry that baby, too.  It’s definitely been helpful to put the baby in the carrier and pat him down and walk with him for whatever time it takes to get him back to sleep.  I’ve also found that the carrier usually helps with working gas out.  It’s easy to bounce him and pat him and it keeps him upright.

My baby won’t sleep

I know there are hundreds of parents struggling with a baby who won’t sleep well or was sleeping well, then stopped.  I’ve read some of the books that everyone swears by and they don’t help.  Why?  Because I adopted my son from South Korea just after he was 7 months old.  I couldn’t start early.  If there was a routine, I didn’t know it and I couldn’t replicate it.  He came home and was almost 12 hours off from any schedule he may have had.  It was a whole new world for him and for us.

So, we’re struggling with sleep issues.  Everything is inconsistent no matter how hard we try… naps, nights, even feedings, baths, and dirty diapers.  To make it worse, we’re heading back to work, so sleep is of the utmost importance since parental naps are no longer going to be allowed (companies frown on napping at your desk).

Here’s the thing: Letting him cry it out is *not* an option.  When you adopt a child, it’s important to do everything you can to form a healthy attachment.  While I believe every parent should do this whether they adopt or not, I’m no Dr. Sears.  At some point, you can’t be there for your child every time he needs you because you won’t get any useful sleep yourself.  Even with neither of us having to return to work for 6 weeks, it has been a struggle thus far.

So, I’m starting this blog to tell the world some of the stuff I’m trying.  I’m hoping other parents, specifically ones who adopt an infant who is not newborn and perhaps from another time zone, might be able to read and use some of the techniques I’m using to form healthy attachment while teaching my son to sleep while getting some rest of my own.

Why *we* need sleep

I realized that without good sleep, there’s no chance of forming healthy attachments during the day.  You need to be alert and active to meet your babies needs.  You need to sleep at night, and maybe during his naps, in order to have the energy and mindset to care for your baby as best you can when he needs you or wants you.

Without sleep, I get frustrated easily, I can’t hold him as much, I can’t play with him for very long, I have a hard time maintaining his schedule and I have a hard time reading him.  I may meet his needs on a basic level, but I don’t accomplish as much as I can towards building a relationship with him.

With sleep, I’m ready to play with him, I talk to him more, I’m more attentive to him and his needs and take care of them promptly, I stick to the schedule better and he generally seems happier to me.  I’m sure I seem happier to him.

But, it all comes down to the nighttime.  Will he wake up once or 8 times?  Will he wake up for a little comfort or will he be wide awake and ready to play?  Depending on what happens results on how well I can provide for him the next day, but he doesn’t realize that, does he?

So, we’ve been home for 6 weeks now.  My now 8 month old son is teething, crawling, pulling up on everything and trying new foods.  I can only imagine that his world is very exciting and he would not want to sleep for fear of missing something.  There have been good days and bad days usually preceded by good nights and bad nights respectively.  There doesn’t seem to be anything in particular that makes a good night or bad night that is within our control.  It’s like we’re rolling the dice every night.  The only thing that’s consistent is that if we have a bad night, we all have a bad day that follows.

So, the key is making sure I get enough rest to take care of him tomorrow while not letting him have to bawl his eyes out (and me still not sleeping) in order to figure out how to soothe himself back to sleep when he wakes up at night.